Facing One of my Fear

Grab some tissues everyone

For this blog, I'll tell you about the only thing that makes me nervous. Of course, I'm terrified of insects, as well as crawling animals such as snakes and worms, and jumping animals such as frogs and grasshoppers, but this one is different from what most of us are afraid of. For almost a year, this anxiety has intensified my mental breakdown since I constantly overthink it, cry at night, and wonder why? “Why is it me?” or “Why did God choose me to deal with this problem?” I'm not sure if it's a mental breakdown or anxiousness, but one thing's for sure: this is the most difficult part of being a teenager—or, more accurately, of being me.

What I'm referring to is my current health situation. I've had this ailment for over 5 months. This is an inherited disorder. My brother has it, and my mother had it when she was seven years old. The only difference between my brother's and my situation is that my brother is more serious than mine. My epilepsy is what I'm referring to. I am treated for almost 5 years now and counting. I've been receiving treatment for about 5 years and counting. As I previously stated, this is a hereditary condition, and I will be treated until I die, or until eternity, infinity, and beyond.

Actually, I have a video on my YouTube channel describing my health or mental condition—how it began, and how I reacted when I discovered that I have the same health or mental condition as my brother. Because I'm just getting started with vlogging, I don't have English subtitles on my videos, so even if I shared it with you, you wouldn't be able to understand it.

So, before reading this, watch my video to see how it all began and my reaction.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWmMVFPKRns

We're currently discussing how I handle it and have done so for about five years. It's actually rather difficult to manage and handle, especially if you're like me and constantly want to do something. Even if it isn't particularly significant. It's difficult for those who want to rush things and be active all the time. I've forgotten to take my medicine on sometimes, and that day is when I'm so preoccupied with my work, even if it's not urgent, that I want to do it as soon as possible. If my migraines or epilepsy attack, that is the time I'll only remember that I didn't drink my medicine and that it will prevent me from working. When it attacks you, the only thing you need to do is stop working (if you are working) and leave your work area, move out of your room, or lie down in your bed. Allow it to assault you. If it's done, set it aside for a few minutes before eating.

Party lights should be avoided by anyone with this condition. We will have headaches and dizziness as a result of turning the lights on and off. We couldn't control the DJ of the music of what he would play when we had a junior and senior prom while I was in senior high. It isn't always romantic music that is played. He'll also play party music while the party lights are turned on and off. Every time he plays party music, I'll return to my seat since that's when I get a headache and dizziness from the lights turning on and off. I'm also grateful to those who look after me since they will accommodate me in my seat and let me relax there if they sense it's time to party. Realm Family (you know who you are), Jeremy, Michael, and the rest of my GAS 11-12 C Family all get a big shout out! Even though some of the guys are shhh—, I love you. But keep in mind that you don't need anyone to look after you since the one person who knows you and will look after you is you..

So, if you're wondering how to deal with epilepsy, all I can advise is to look after yourself. There isn't always someone there to assist you. You know what you can't do and what's best for you and your health; don't rely on others to do it for you.

And for those of you who are reading this, if you have the same condition as me and are in pain right now, I understand. If you're in pain, there's no harm in sobbing to get your feelings out, but perhaps, after that, you'll embrace it wholeheartedly, even if it's difficult. Because I believe He will not subject you to such suffering if you are unable to bear it. I'm hoping for the best for you.